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Column: I’m thankful for the nicknames I’ve used in articles for Michigan over the years

Look, I am a simple man; it doesn’t take much to entertain me. So today, when we are gathering with family to celebrate the things that bring joy to our lives, I want to give thanks to the thoroughly idiotic things that I have called Ohio State’s rival over the years here on the fine journalistic pages of Land-Grant Holy Land rather than the team’s actual name.

Now, this list is in no particular order and is in no way exhaustive, as I am old and my feeble mind no longer has the capacity to retain information that does not directly pertain to my immediate survival.