JANUARY 30TH, 2018.
Dear Journal —
It is Day 8, and the Tennessee Titans have yet to confirm the hiring of Kerry Coombs. I cannot be sure how deep this conspiracy goes; only that it includes Pete Thamel, Urban Meyer, his wife, Shelley, Marshon Lattimore, Eli Apple, a professionally done photoshop of Coombs at the Senior Bowl talking to Mike Vrabel while wearing Titan blue, and an unnamed source of The Tennessean, a tabloid with communist sympathies.
Food and morale are low. Hardened disciples leave our camp every day, and we fear CIA informants run rampant through our ranks.