Dear Michigan,
Hey. How are you? Okay, enough small talk. Let's get right to it. You don't like us; we don't like you. This is nothing new. We've been fighting this war since 1897, and I don't see it ending anytime soon.
And why would it end? The only ways to stop a war are through complete victory or peace, and we all know that peace ain't happening anytime soon. What, are we supposed to just stop singing We Don't Give A Damn For The Whole State of Michigan? That would be a lie, though, because we don't, and we're not just going to start.