You may find that work, school, or other obligations keep you from focusing on Twitter the way you should. Thankfully for you, I'm able to tune out those distractions and provide you with a weekly rundown of the best tweets from around campus.
I am alive. I was not killed by The Great Daryl Jackson Byrnes (totally not what D.J. stands for, but we'll run with it). I did in fact drop my work on his "desk" last week and demand that it be done, but I was not killed. Perhaps he is far more merciful than he lets on, or maybe that was just his way of telling me "happy birthday.