I think all headlines should be written in the form of a Ray Fosse question.
First of all, don't mess with me. I chaperoned a middle school dance Friday night, so nothing you have to offer is going to phase me. For an update on who now likes who, and who slow danced together, please visit our website at whotheheckcaresyou're12.edu.
Second of all, you know that this article isn't really about the A's because the A's simply don't go to arbitration with their players. Actually, strictly speaking that's not true: they've gone three times in the Billy Beane era.