Being a Notre Dame Fighting Irish fan in Buckeye country is exhausting. I’ve said it before: “join a conference,” and “cupcake schedule,” are unoriginal and boring, and they tire me more by the day. However, they’ve gotten me to think of how I’d arrange things if I were able to shake up the schedule. I’d keep some classic rivalry games, of course, but I mostly relish the opportunity to pick fights with teams with whom I have my own petty beef. In the event I become the queen of Notre Dame football soon, this is what the schedule will look like.