Thanks 2015, now my poor girlfriend probably needs therapy.
Wait, you know what? Let me back up and start from something closer to the beginning of this mess.
In the late summer of 2014 I was starting what would turn out to be a complete mess of a job, and absolutely hated it pretty much from the start. On my second day I met a girl who we will call Alejandra. Alejandra and I were an instant match. We shared more than a lot in common, but perhaps one of the most significant aspects of her personality was her sizable love for sports (to every guy in the room: I KNOW!