A Deranged Annual Blarney Stone Fight

nebraska joining the big ten expecting to mix it up in the title game against ohio state every year and then finding themselves playing in a deranged annual rock fight against northwestern is one of the funniest things that has ever happened in college football

I have no idea why Nebraska and Northwestern got sent to perform football at each other in Dublin, but last Saturday there they were: the red-shirted swarm; the head of the alumni clubs of '79, '87, 2002, and '63 whose relative importance is dicated by the size of their foam corn headpieces; the Commissioner of the Big Ten; the Commissioner of the Bigger Ten; the Vice Commissioner of the Enormous Ten whose identity remains a secret and who was secreted into the stadium dressed as a Dial-A-Down official, the Northwestern Television Personality; the other Northwestern Television Personality; 757 members of the extended Fitzgerald Family; the famed Irish dancer Fearghus O'Donaghue and his arch-rival Feargus Gleason who became sworn enemies in 1987 after the infamous Headband Incident; Nebraska's Barf Boys linking up with The Most Nauseous Man of Kerry County and a Northwestern performance artist named Zach Barff; one Irish person interested in college football.