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You must choose: Eight NC State football wins guaranteed, or a gamble with the Pack’s potential?

Related Topics: Barbecue sauce, Gambling

A genie happens to pop out of a half-crushed beer can you’re walking past on the street; he halts you in your tracks, points directly at you, and begins:

“You there, humble sports-fearing human, if you can take one—”

“A billion dollars!”

He chuckles. “No, you see, mere speck of existence, what I am in fact askin—”

“A billion dollars!”

“YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY MONEY.”

“Can I have five bucks?”

He dunks you into a trash can. “No.

“But you may have wins; more specifically, football wins.”

You spit out a banana peel and wipe off several half-eaten chicken nuggets from your shirt.