Man, what a time it's going to be Friday at noon Eastern. What a free-agent frenzy this will be! There's a big fish to catch, more like a whale, and it's going to be the greatest reality show of the summer, with former 60-goal scorer Steven Stamkos–Steven Stamkos!–about to hit the open mark... wait, what's that? Stamkos just re-signed with the Tampa Bay Lightning?
Oh. OK then. Well, maybe there's a rerun of Seinfeld on then or something.
Wow, talk about a buzzkill. With one fell swoop of Stamkos' pen on a new contract Wednesday with the Lightning, the excitement promised for Friday went from the dramatic equivalent of Macbeth to Keeping Up with the Kardashians.