Adam Schefter's cell phone stopped working this week, which is problematic on multiple levels for someone in his position.
For starters, as ESPN's lead NFL scoop man, Schefter's cell signal is directly tethered to his vital signs (probably).
Any drop in service will cause a corresponding dip in his physical life force, and every text he misses from Roger Goodell's aides while out of commission only drains him further.
But on an even scarier professional level, it appears the sudden and inexplicable bricking of your phone and laptop are also telltale signs for ESPN employees that the Worldwide Leader has culled them from the company.