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Rob Gronkowski Is Hosting a 'GRONK Party Cruise' to Bahamas, May Never Come Back

In late-breaking nautical news, the islands of the Bahamas will be forcibly invaded in 2016 when amicable thigh pirate Rob Gronkowski lands ashore with a cruise ship full of people too drunk to conjugate.

The New England Patriots tight end released a trailer for the event Tuesday (h/t UpRoxx's Christmas Ape). Titled "GRONK's Party Ship hosted by Rob Gronkowski and Family," the video shows exactly how any three-day cruise from Miami to the Bahamas put on by the Gronkowski family should go.

There will be music. There will be dancing. And house—so much house.