‘A Very Attractive Man of Great Sexual Power’

I’m the kind of man who’s never really on time, at least in the traditional sense. For me, five minutes late isn’t late at all. Seven minutes splits the difference between five and 10, but I round down, which isn’t late. Eight minutes gets rounded up, which is late but necessitates only a simple apology without explanation. Eleven minutes is really 10, so the same rule applies. But 12 minutes is starting to push 15. This requires a quick apology and an excuse: “Sorry, got stuck in traffic.” Anything beyond 15 minutes is truly late and you must offer a heartfelt apology and an elaborate excuse, citing wild events beyond your control.