Just the presence of the word "Deflategate" in the headline may have given you the urge to throw your smartphone against the wall in disgust—or at least sent you scrolling hurriedly away to read some nice, safe NBA article. You reached your saturation level for distillations of the contents of 61-page briefs to circuit courts, dissertations by Ph.D. physicists on science basics and comment-thread turf wars between the Free Brady and Cheatriots gangs long ago.
And yet you clicked this article and are still reading. For that, I thank you.
After a never-ending series of legal and public opinion twists and turns that threatens to last longer than an elephant pregnancy, Deflategate no longer has anything to say to you.