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Sportscasters just keep dishing out agony for the ears

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Fox's Chris Spielman, CBS's Gary Danielson

I finally figured it out. It’s the only remaining logical explanation.

We’re being punished!

For what, I don’t yet know. But I’m working on it.

Meanwhile, the punishments grow in volume and severity. How else to explain why Fox’s Chris Spielman spent Sunday’s Giants-Eagles game lecturing about plays “in space” and in a “vertical” direction?

He eventually violated the Geneva Conventions, with this about the Eagles: “They have had problems creating space and getting open. No vertical threats besides Zach Ertz.