I have major mustache envy.
Seriously, nobody wants to see me grow facial hair under any circumstances. I start with Magnum P.I. becoming the goal, and barely advance past John Waters territory.
Clearly, this isn’t a problem the New York Yankees deal with often. The team’s ban on long hair and beards is well-known and the subject of much criticism and debate. On one hand, how the players look above the neck has nothing to do with their play on the field. On the other hand, it’s been a tradition for decades.
As a result, you won’t see any Yankees players sporting a full Grizzly Adams.