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New York Red Bulls 2, New York City FC 0: Age beats beauty in Tucson

Well, that was fun! Wait, no, it wasn’t. Unless you have a perverse definition of fun. Like, maybe you’re an avid stamp collector, or Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet.

But we’re getting off-track here, folks: on Wednesday afternoon at the Kino Sports Complex, a squad of New York Red Bulls starters controlled proceedings on its way to a 2-0 victory over a mixed-an-match NYCFC team.

While 2016 MLS MVP finalist Sacha Kljestan found the net twice for Red, David Villa and Andrea Pirlo were left off the team sheet for Blue.

Here’s how the Borough Boys lined up to start the game:

GK: Eirik Johansen

DEF: RJ Allen (c), Ben Sweat, Ethan White, Shannon Gomez

MID: Kwame Awuah, Chris Wingate, John Stertzer

FWD: Khiry Shelton, Sean Okoli, Jalen Brown

Unsigned rookie Wingate and trialist Sweat didn’t acquit themselves well in the affair, and Ethan White picked up, shall we say, right where he left off.