The number five is sacred in my household, owing to its use in such monolithic properties as Lou Bega's 1999 single "Mambo No. 5," award-eligible boy band 5ive (Slam Dunk Da Funk!), and my chosen temple of worship, Five Guys Burgers & Fries on Woodhaven Boulevard in Queens.
Ahem.
It is with this contextual orientation that we arrive at today's most momentous Mexican-American holiday, Cinco de Mayo.
Yes, on this day in 1862, Mexican forces triumphed over the feckless Gauls at the Battle of Puebla. And today, we look ahead to Sunday's showdown on a similarly bombed-out, depleted battlefield: RFK Stadium, the District of Columbia's foremost combination rat trap/roach motel.