In hockey, there’s something called the “tale of the tape.” It’s a clear scouting report based on video you have of a certain player. Today, we have video of New Jersey Devils mascot NJ Devil. This is his tale of the tape.
Start until 4 seconds: NJ Devil is mostly stationary. He’s not even grabbing the parachute, despite being the tallest guy there. How are you going to convince Taylor Hall to stay when you can’t even pull your weight off the ice?
5 seconds: For reasons unknown, the Devil turns to the left a full 90 degrees.