**SATIRE** There seems to be a storm brewing in New England!
It has been a reasonably quiet off-season, but a recent turn of events reveals this has just been the calm before the storm. While All Pro Socratic Corrupter-Of-The-Youth Tom Brady could be on the sidelines for the first few weeks of the season, the support from the team is far from complete. It seems as if all is not well inside the New England Patriots locker room as one player in particular is willing to resort to hemlock to take Brady's job.
Sophomore quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo has a known history of despising Brady, whether it was from his college days of non-stop watching Brady's game tape to learn his weaknesses, or Brady not celebrating with Jimmy at the end of the Chiefs game, or Jimmy's lonely wanderings after Malcolm Butler's interception in the Super Bowl.