The laughable line is only a ruling because of the Patriots.
The language used in the Wells Report is an obvious source of frustration and humor for Patriots fans. "More probable than not" is the least accusational of phrases that seems to allow for a backdoor if the league wants to drop the case against Tom Brady and the Patriots.
Of course, this is legal jargon that's required by the league to issue discipline, as reader nbradley07 so eloquently discussed the other day. "More probable than not," also known as a "preponderance of the evidence," is used in civil cases, versus "beyond a reasonable doubt" in criminal cases.