With Goodell's verdict on the horizon, here's what he should actually say when issuing down his decision.
New York, NY- [Roger Goodell approaches the podium]
Hi everyone, glad you all could make it. We're here today to discuss an event that was blown way out of proportion, and we're going to discuss the processes that are going to be improved moving forward.
First, I've come to a decision with regards to Tom Brady's appeal over his role in the questioned ball pressure of footballs during the AFC Championship game. I have come to determine that through extensive research and analysis, it is inconclusive whether or not the footballs were tampered with, and as a result we cannot levy a penalty.