What you're seeing, however, is simply a man smiling, wearing a tropical button-down shirt and hanging out with Kid Rock.
After all, there's simply no way the notoriously expressionless Patriots head coach could be doing any of the aforementioned things—let alone all three.
But he is!
While the rest of New England suffers an onslaught of snow, Belichick is thawing out in Jupiter, Florida, with girlfriend Linda Holliday, and enjoying a meal with a fellow famous Detroit dweller at Tiger Woods' restaurant.
So what's the cause of such an uncharacteristically dazzling display of ease and pearly whites?