This is not a mocking of our fine base but rather a celebration of the coping mechanism which keeps attendance streaks and Twitter rants alive. In Nebraska, we don’t just believe in magic. We rationalize exactly why we believe the magic will happen.
Yes, the actual game results are usually as stupid and disappointing as magic is, but whatever. Lather, rinse, repeat and then make an off-season of it, you filthy animals.
Naturally, the best lies are born of Husker philosophers with livers like a slab of Jack’s Links. And why is that? Because their thought processes have been corrupted with the influence of sweet alcohol.