Corn Nation's helpful mascot offers his version of what today's 'statement of support' should have said.
YOLO CORN NATION! I'M BAAAACK.
I THINK I DIED AND WENT TO KANSAS. I MEAN, HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN LOSING TO ILLINOIS, NORTHWESTERN, AND PURDUE IN THE SAME SEASON? IT MAY SEEM HOPELESS AND EMBARRASSING BUT THAT'S WHERE I COME IN BITCHES! IF ANYONE KNOWS EMBARRASSING IT IS A MENTALLY UNSTABLE COB OF CORN THAT ENJOYS CONSOLING DEPRESSED CHICKS AFTER LOSING FOOTBALL GAMES. BUSINESS HAS BEEN GOOD - IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
BUT IF THERE IS A BRIGHT SIDE TO GETTIN' BOATRACED BY PURDUE IS THAT YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO THE INEVITABLE "STATEMENT OF SUPPORT" FROM THE ATHLETIC DIRECTOR!