Bonus notes on special teams and defenses:
- Defensively: I dunno, blitz a lot. Have defensive tackles who do adorable things for young fans, linebackers who look like they walked out of Fury Road, safeties who sometimes run into their own teammates for fun, and cornerbacks who would talk shit to Jesus if they had to cover them. Your defensive ends should be genetically altered monstrosities incapable of riding in normal-sized cars.
- Punting: no, but if you must your punter must be Australian or fat or both. The most Internet Offense punter is Tom Hackett of Utah, followed by Brad Wing of LSU.