THE CURIOUS INDEX URGES YOU TO STAY VIGILANT

A COMPLETE RUTGERS MELTDOWN COULD HAPPEN AT ANY MOMENT

RUTGERS MELTDOWN STATUS UPDATE. A bad and stupid season at Rutgers has become badder and stupider after Leonte Carroo, the team's leading receiver, had some level of involvement (evolving stories are fun!) in a fight that took place outside the football facility after the loss to Washington State on Saturday. It is now time for us to unveil a custom-made graphic.

This chart indicates relative levels of program tranquility. At the bottom is Bill Snyder, who has lived forever and seen everything and therefore understands that nothing is worth getting upset about.