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THE CURIOUS INDEX ASKS A COKE BOTTLE FOR ANSWERS

GO ASK THE COKE BOTTLE, IT'S FILLED WITH CORROSIVE ACID JUST LIKE MY SOUL

The best thing about watching Nick Saban dare reporters to interrogate a bottle of soda: your sneaking suspicion that Nick Saban is refusing to talk about his defensive coordinator leaving for the Georgia job because he has that defensive coordinator under house arrest in the Alabama football offices, and that he will not let him leave until the completion of Alabama's season. (And possibly not until after recruiting is done.)

DOES THAT PHILOSOPHY INVOLVE ANY ATTEMPTS AT SCORING OR RECRUITING A SINGLE WIDE RECEIVER EFFECTIVELY?