We've entered the holiday shopping portion of the season, and many programs are on the hunt for the perfect gift for their fans. Maybe you're getting a brand-new Justin Fuente, that Kirby Smart you've been eyeing for years, or a even refurbished Mark Richt! Heck, if you're really good, there's still a chance Santa might bring you a hard-to-obtain Tom Herman!
Of course... not all programs are quite as fortunate. Today we reflect on this.
[SCENE: inside the dusty concourse of a mall that closed in 2007 but inexplicably still stands in the middle of a pretty nice neighborhood]
Iiiiiiii'll be home for Christmas / You can count on me
We didn't make a bowl / we weren't very close
We couldn't even win three
PURDUE SANTA: Ho, ho, ho!