In a move that came somewhat of a surprise, newly discovered Planet Nine has committed to play football at Alabama. The massive celestial body, which goes by Nibiru with its other planet friends and also A'Shawn Robinson, would be the first planet to play football by our reckoning.
Coming from a cold region of deep space beyond the Kuiper Belt, Planet Nine has a mass of approximately 10 times that of the Earth, but displays exceptional athleticism while moving through space. "I think it's a real testament to Nibiru that it can cover that kind of ground while maintaining a solar orbit somewhere between 10,000 and 20,000 Earth years," said Alabama head coach Nick Saban, all while committing an NCAA violation for discussing an unsigned prospect.