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LET’S MAKE AN UNWATCHABLE COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAME

We’re at the absolute nadir of the college football calendar — it’s been almost five months since any of us were able to watch a new game, and we’re still two and a half months away from play starting back up.

We’re desperate for a hit.

I’d take anything at this point. A Thursday night AAC game. A Conference USA tilt between two bottom-dwellers. A Tennessee game. I’d watch anything.

This got me to thinking, as I do: what would make the most unwatchable game possible? Well, it’s time to try. In the grand spirit of internet challenges, I’m giving you $15 to construct the worst, most god-awful, absolutely unwatchable college football game possible.