[SCENE: the Harbaugh household, Christmas morning]
JIM HARBAUGH: Merry Christmas, wife!
SARAH HARBAUGH: You can call me Sarah, Jim, we've been married for seven years.
JIM: Hey, you earned that title. Wear it with pride.
SARAH: Should we open gifts?
JIM: With persistence and vigor and an unholy passion for-
SARAH [wearily]: Jim, it's early.
JIM: [is doing pullups]
SARAH: Here, open yours.
JIM [unwrapping]: A wheelbarrow full of iron slag! I love it.
SARAH: I'm still not sure why you asked for it. That mall Santa was really put off.