You don't think you're a Big Ten person, but if you've ever worn a sweatshirt, held hate deep, deep, deep in your heart for longer than five straight years, or thought to yourself, "30 degrees is actually pretty temperate," you are. Here are your assigned teams based on thorough research/me making stuff up.
IF YOU LIKE: imagining living life as Saved by the Bell's Zach Morris*, in which you never face actual challenges, can skip tests and alienate others, and still have all of your friends, teachers, and principal willing to lie on the ground and die for you for no real reason.