[SCENE: The athletic department offices at The Ohio State University]
[URBAN MEYER and staff enter, carrying a sheet cake with 104 candles]
ALL: -ppy Birthday dear Woody, Happy Birthday to you... and many more!
KEVIN WILSON: [loudly, with clapping] HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW, HOW OL-
URBAN MEYER: [makes subtle ‘cut it’ gesture] Well, Happy Birthday, Coach Hayes, we’re all, uh, pleasantly surprised that you were able to join us today, obviously you’ve been a big influence on many people in this room, and of course on this program, and we couldn’t be happier to have you back in the facilities today.