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CHOOSE YOUR CHAMPIONS: FLORIDA

Trial by combat is a serious thing. It’s mostly fictional unless we’re talking about the South Carolina legal system, where trial by combat was a thing as recently as 2003. Don’t look that up, it’s on the secret menu of South Carolina legal code. Does it make sense that like South Carolina’s legal system works a lot like the menu at Hardees? You bet it does.

The most important option in trial by combat is the option of choosing a champion—i.e, someone who is not you, but is willing to fight for you in the ring. The odds are that an average person cannot fight, much less fight well enough to win or survive in the ring.