Years from now, your children will tell stories of the day Alabama was tied with The Citadel at halftime.
Deep within the Amazon, there are tribes that have never had human contact that, nevertheless, took shelter amid fears the world was ending because Alabama allowed 130 yards and two touchdowns to a running back from The Citadel.
Theoretical physicists spent much of Saturday on a conference call, with the only possible explanation for the events in Tuscaloosa being that we're all part of an artificial universe created by some super-intelligent machine, and The Citadel's 10 first-half points represented an obvious glitch in the matrix.