Albert and Alberta got eyelifts. Or eye-opens. Whatever you call it when this happens, and you end up with a much larger eye than you had before. Your own eye, not someone else's. We're never going to be the kind of rich that ends up with the kind of familiarity with plastic surgery terminology, or the distorted Papa John eyelifts and fillers that go with it. We've seen you in person, John Schnatter, and you look like a wind-chapped man in a wind tunnel standing in a hallway with zero breeze.
Anyway, this happened to Albert and Alberta's eyes.