THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MIZZOU THAT'S JUST THE BEST PUN I COULD COME UP WITH, LAY OFF IT'S BEEN A WEIRD WEEK
[scene: it's just before noon on a college football Saturday]
ME, AT NOON: Ah, okay, time to settle in for a nice pleasant Saturday of college football watching. Let's see, the noon slate is okay, I suppose. We've got Iowa-Northwestern, that'll be important for the Big Ten West race. Florida State-Louisville could be interesting, and so could Ole Miss playing at Memphis. But, you know, the bigger games don't come in until later, maybe I could get so-
[a flash of light, sparks and smoke, as a disheveled, wide-eyed and delirious version of myself bursts into sight]
ME AT MIDNIGHT: IS IT NOON?