1. F**k.
2. F**k, f**k, f**kity f**k.
3. Wait, it’s April Fool’s Day! This is a joke! How did I fall for this? I’m so stupid. I hate April Fool’s Day, and I’m logging off Twitter!
4. But it is Tony Ferguson and Khabib Nurmagomedov. Could it possibly be true again? They’ll still be competing at UFC 223, right? I better open up Twitter again.
5. Wait, Ariel Helwani is reporting it. Oh, no. Oh, please no.