It was a good week to be a bad Eastern Conference team. The eighth-place New England Revolution, fresh off firing club legend Jay Heaps, beat Toronto FC at home thanks to some late fireworks. Last-place D.C. United had tons of fans out for the penultimate game at RFK Stadium and produced a 4-0 ripping of playoff-contending San Jose, courtesy of four goals in a span of 31 minutes from Patrick Mullins. Ninth-place Philadelphia beat Chicago at home 3-1 on the back of two Chris Pontius goals.
All of these are bizarre in their own ways, even if TFC are kind of phoning it in at this point, and San Jose can’t play on the road to save their lives (unless they’re in LA, in which case they always win).