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MLB’s Mascot Conference Is Actually Very Serious Business

It’s not every night that a mascot from Major League Baseball calls you, but at 8:45 on Wednesday, that’s exactly what happened. An unknown number popped up on my phone as I lay on my couch watching the Great British Bake Off. I almost didn’t answer it because a) I was enthralled by a collapsing cake and b) a telemarketer out in Arizona keeps reaching out to tell me that I’ve qualified for a small business loan. But for some reason—fate, destiny, divine intervention—I picked up.

“I’m Sluggerrr,” said the voice on the other end of the line.