In 2026, the World Cup will take a break from being hosted by authoritarian regimes that give human rights 0 out of 5 stars. The hosting duties in three years will fall to the United States, Mexico, and Canada, who promise to bring back just the financial corruption we expect with international soccer.
In fact, if an international soccer event doesn’t feature things like embezzlement, bribery, wire fraud, and money laundering, is it even a legitimate tournament? We need the comfort of knowing financial crimes are happening and someone(s) will go to prison like seven years after the fact.