Around noon ET on Thursday, ESPN’s Bomani Jones perplexedly quote-tweeted an 11-Alive News Atlanta announcement that Atlanta’s IKEA was going to host a “crayfish (?) party” on Sept. 15 (?) in the year of our Lord 2017. The announce was rightly met with swift and virulent Twitter derision from all decent human beings everywhere.
Let us be perfectly clear here, as the foremost food blog on the world wide web: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER SHOULD YOU OR WILL YOU ATTEND A “CRAYFISH PARTY” AT THE ATLANTA AREA IKEA IN FREAKING SEPTEMBER. IF YOU ARE SPOTTED AT THIS EVENT, YOU WILL BE CORRECTLY INTERNET-SHAMED.