Malt liquor — otherwise known as malt beer, which feels somehow dishonest but also closer to what this swill really is — occupies the sub-basement of American fermented inventions. It stings with too much metal and its taste is too farty to be at all drinkable, and drinkability is the true measure of American beer.
Malt liquor is perhaps the worst thing sitting above something in the Truly Spiked & Sparkling family of adult beverages, a truly unremarkable and clear drink that no one should even think about ordering from a bartender, because that bartender will look at you and think to him or herself “well, so much for a decent tip tonight.