Any Minnesotan worth their weight in Purple paranoia comes armed with tortured tales of trapdoors lurking just around the bend.
Fall is nice, you say.
"Yeah, but we all know what's coming!"
Winter is almost over, you say.
"Yeah, but the mosquitos are brutal! And the heat!"
Halloween, you say.
"I was here in Ninety-One. Storm of the Century! My power's still out. We all died."
Kirk Cousins has good stats, you say.
"Yeah, but he doesn't win!"
Kirk Cousins is winning, you say.