Each and every week on “Screw Those Guys!” I’ll be presenting you with reasons to cheer for the Vikings. Actually, that’s not true. These won’t be reasons to cheer for the Vikes, these will be more like reasons why you should cheer against whoever they happen to be playing. As a fan, hating your opponent makes the game more fun, if yelling and stomping and breaking things is your idea of fun (and if it isn’t, you can get the hell out of the USA). This week, it’s the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. HOW I HATE THEM.
NFC CENTRAL RIVALRY RENEWED: Before the Texans joined the league in 2002, these two were in the same division: THE FAMED NFC CENTRAL. Now why a team based in Western Florida was grouped in with Minnesota, Detroit, Chicago, and Green Bay is beyond me, but before the Bucs fled for the NFC South, they were easily my least favorite team. The early 2000's Bucs team of Warren Sapp, Keyshawn Johnson, and Shaun King were just detestable in my mind. One time when I was eight or so, I was watching the game by myself (Dad was somewhere I don't remember), and Keyshawn made a first down catch. I was so enraged that I flipped him the bird under a blanket (granted this was at the age in which I thought that the middle finger meant 'rhino butt.' Still, this was an eight year old me's equivalent of a shooting rampage). If that story didn't move you to root for the Vikings this Sunday, I don't want to know what will.
Ean Dunn: My friend and ChatSports colleague Ean is a big Bucs fan. Now, Ean is from upstate New York, so the question comes up, why Tampa? Well dear reader, allow me to spin you a tale of intrigue, romance, and stupidity (just kidding about the intrigue and romance). See, when Ean was a kid, the Bucs had a running back you may remember by the name of Warrick Dunn. Can you see where this is going? Ean's neighbor told our little tennis correspondent that Warrick Dunn and Ean Dunn were *gasp* brothers! This is a picture of Ean:
And this is Warrick Dunn:
Come on buddy, I know we go to Temple and everything, but you cannot possibly have been that dumb. Also, I'm throwing him a birthday party tomorrow night, so I have no further obligation to be nice to him this weekend. Check mate ya goof.
Wannabe Raiders Fans:
We get it. You like a football team with some sort of pirate as the mascot. You show this off by dressing like a nautically-themed-criminal yourself. At least the Raiders did it first.. Get your own schtick, Tampa; you just look like a member of the Insane Clown Posse:
[caption id="attachment_158" align="aligncenter" width="265" caption="Fuckin' Bucs fans, how do they work?"]
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Sophomoric Alternate Nickname of the Week: Tampa Bay F*ckaneers
Vikings Connection!
This catch by Cris Carter has always stuck out in my mind. He made the grab during a last minute drive on third and long for a big first down. Cris got hurt on the play, and the Vikings would eventually lose, but it was one of the greatest catches I've ever seen. GOOD TIMES.
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