Each and every week on "Screw Those Guys!" I'll be presenting you with reasons to cheer for the Vikings. Actually, that's not true. These won't be reasons to cheer for the Vikes, these will be more like reasons why you should cheer against whoever they happen to be playing. As a fan, hating your opponent makes the game more fun, if yelling and stomping and breaking things is your idea of fun (and if it isn't, you can get the hell out of the USA). This week, it's the San Diego Chargers. HOW I HATE THEM.
Philip Rivers: Oh man, talk about a douchebag. Rivers is that lacrosse player from your high school with a hot girlfriend that he constantly yelled at. He smack talks his opponent and he screams at his teammates because God knows he's the only one doing anything out there! Also, at NC State, he wore a visor in his facemask, and that's just stupid. Quarterbacks don't wear visors you goon. Get a life!
San Diego: This city is too nice for its own good. It's always sunny and warm and on top of that they have a perennially good football team. But because it's so nice, people there have better things to do than spend three hours at a football game on Sundays. They have a tough time selling out, and if there is any justice in this world, the Chargers will move to Los Angeles in a few years to teach those spoiled residents of San Diego that ♪ you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone ♪
Norv Turner: He's so ugly. God, he's just so ugly. And his real name is actually Norval Eugene Turner. There's so much to mock and just so little time. Here's some pictures of him making funny faces instead:
Vikings Connection!
Remember when Adrian Peterson set the NFL single-game record for rushing yards with 296 in his rookie year against these very same San Diego Chargers? Now I'm not saying he's going to do it again, but what I am saying is that he is going to run for 400 yards minimum today. GOOD TIMES.
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