Editor’s Note: The following story is a satire; it’s not true, except for the introduction about the suit sponsor. That actually happened.
Minnesota United’s all about fashion these days. First, it was the Microsoft Paint-designed home kits of last season, then a custom suit company this season. “Players can look their best off the field in order to perform their best on the field,” raved the club in the deal announcement.
With success strikingly hard to come by this season, the Loons have taken their fashion-forward plan one step further: socks.