Coach P.J. Fleck,
First of all, I’d like to congratulate you on being named head football coach of the Minnesota Golden Gophers. You made an elite decision to come to the Twin Cities, and I am excited to see what the future holds as you lead this football program into a new era.
But one thing that the future of this program must hold is the full banana.
What is “the full banana,” you ask? It’s simple. Gold helmet, gold jersey, gold pants — put simply, ALL GOLD EVERYTHING. It’s a uniform combination the the Gophers have long danced around but never fully embraced.