A damp, dreary day in the Dinkytown area commenced Wednesday with the startling news that Minnesota head coach Jerry Kill was retiring immediately. In an impromptu early morning presser, Kill listed his deteriorating health condition as his primary reason for leaving the position. During his tenure, Kill never wavered from who he was. He led the University of Minnesota football program with a strong sense of character, passion and enthusiasm that very few failed to notice and respect. Gopher Nation wishes you the best of luck, Jerry, nothing but health and happiness in your future endeavors.
“The Michigan Wolverines defeated the Michigan State Sp…”
Sportswriters across the nation were forced to delete the previous statement after a miraculous game-winning Michigan State blocked punt return changed the narrative of the Big Ten East Division race.